First Name Basis: MFS Evolves Forms of Address Policy
Written for MFS WordsWorth
In a new policy aligning with the Quaker value of plain speech and providing the opportunity for enhanced self-expression, MFS faculty and staff now have the opportunity to choose how they wish to be addressed by students. The decision, instituted at the start of the 2023-24 school year, allows teachers to move beyond traditional honorifics such as "Mr." or "Mrs." and strengthen this Quaker practice at MFS.
Dan Zemaitis, the Chester Reagan Chair for Quaker and Religious Studies, explained that the policy reflects MFS's commitment to following Quaker testimonies: "From a Quaker perspective, [the policy] really has to do with Quaker history and making sure that the school's practices align with our Quaker values. We looked at what a number of other schools do, and there are some that maintain the traditional honorifics. But a lot of them have moved to either a model of Teacher [first name] or just [first name] or letting the teachers pick, and we felt that that was the best way to go about it, because it more closely aligns with putting [our Quaker values] into practice and letting our lives speak."
History Department Chair Mary Anne Henderson expressed their support for the decision, saying, “I’m glad that the policy is in place for the ways it opens up the opportunity for intentionality on the part of teachers, to reflect and think about ‘Why do I use thename that I use? What do I want to convey? What kind of relationship do I want to have with my students?’”
The policy change comes at a time in MFS history when the school is making a conscious effort to recognize and uplift the diversity and identities of all community members. Sharing their personal experiences using forms of address, Henderson added, "One of the big reasons why I use the name 'Mary Anne' is connected to gender identity for me. Being a non-binary person, a lot of the time honorifics, especially the gendered honorifics, don't feel quite right. Using my first name is a way to just get around that and feel a lot more confident and genuine in myself. I think something about the policy changing that really helps is that, because I'm not the one person, or one of the few, that are doing this, it makes me feel more included in the community."
Explaining how the decision came into practice, Zemaitis said, "We spent about two years as a faculty discussing this and figuring out what the best way forward was. So, instead of making a decision saying everybody has to do the same thing, we felt it was best to allow each individual faculty and staff member to make that decision for themselves."
Describing the implementation of the policy and how teachers made their decisions, history teacher Clark Thomson said, "[Head of Upper School Noah] Rachlin, when discussing this with us at the beginning of the year, gave us a way to think about it ... he said, ‘How would you sign an email to a parent of one of your advisees before you knew them?’”
While the new policy has prompted reflection and choice among teachers, many students feel adapting to the change will require significant adjustment. Ali Sabir '26 shared his opinion, saying, "I think it's important to respect what teachers want to be called, but it's definitely a big transition for students. In certain cultures, it'll definitely be awkward having to communicate with teachers using their first name."
Elaborating on the cultural use of forms of address, Elina Shah '24 said, "Although I understand the Quaker practice of calling teachers by their first name, I have been raised in a culture that shows respect for its elders by using honorifics, and I feel I'm being disrespectful when I address teachers by their first names."
Esha Acharya '25 concurred with her peers' views, saying, "I prefer using Mr. and Mrs. because that's what I've been raised on, but I'm glad teachers have the chance to express themselves by sharing what they want to be called."
Thompson noted that many of his students already spoke to him without forms of address, but the policy change made him reevaluate how he wanted to be addressed moving forward: "Even though students called me just 'Thomson,' not 'Mr. Thomson, and I sign emails and letters to them with that, as I thought about [formal communication], I could never just write Thomson to a parent; in fact many times when I've written to a parent I always have to remember to put in the Mister. So the idea of the nickname versus the honorific was something I had to consider. But as I considered that, I decided perhaps the way I can meet that is just by going with my first name."
Acknowledging the complex situation students, faculty, and staff will navigate as they acclimatize to the policy change, Thomson remarked, "I don't know how comfortable it's going to feel after thirty-two years of teaching without being called Clark."
